The Wedding Crashers
by Luna32
Summary: Renee is finally getting married! So it's off to the wedding for Bella and all the Cullens. But what happens when some unexpected guests crash the part? Spoilers if you haven't read New Moon.
1. Invitation

Disclaimer: Once upon a time a magic genie appeared out of nowhere and said he'd grant me one wish. "I wish I was Stephenie Meyer," I said. The genie looked at me funny and said, "Kid I do wishes, not miracles." "Well can you try anyways," I asked. The genie snapped his fingers. And that's when I woke up.

**A/N:** You know how sometimes when you read a book you think, I could have written this so much better. Well it's the exact opposite for me and Twilight/New Moon. I think they were done perfectly all the way through. Anyways this is just a babble I thought of one night while trying to fall asleep. Hope you enjoy it.

I starred down at the pink invitation, my mouth hanging open. On the front was my name: Isabella Marie Swan in very fancy cursive. The inside had roses going around the border of the card. I read it again, still unable to even fathom the idea.

Isabella Swan you are corjally invited to atended the wedding of Renee and Phil Dwyer. The wedding is to be held at the North Church in Jacksonville, Florida at five o'clock on the second of April. The reception will take place promptly after at the Dwyer home. RSVP as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

Renee and Phil Dwyer

I closed my mouth as the full force of the invitation hit me. Renee was getting remarried, and to Phil, which made since seeing as they had been living together for what seemed like forever. But what would I tell Charlie. Surly Renee expected me to be there. But seriously, what would I tell Charlie? The last time I had disappeared, to Italy, without telling him he'd almost died. And I was still paying for it. Well that and the fact that he had found out that I had a motorcycle. _Thanks _Jacob.

I sighed and started to trudge up the stairs to my room. Five months of nothing but school, work, and home. And no Edward. That was the worst part, no Edward. Ok, so maybe it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Being grounded I could deal with, and I still got to see Edward during the night. (Charlie still didn't know about Edward's nightly visits. But why should I feel bad about that? It's not like we were doing anything. Thanks to Edward. He always had to be so good.)

I had just gotten to the last step when I heard the front door open. "Bella," said Charlie as he walked in. "I'm home."

"Hi dad," I said turning around and tripping over the last step. I caught the rail before I hit the ground, a lucky save.

"Bella," Charlie sighed. His eyes caught site of the invitation in my hand before I could hide it. "What cha got there?" he asked as he put his gun away.

"Um," I wasn't ready for this. "Renee's getting remarried," I said truthfully. "She wants me to go to the wedding."

Charlie gave a long heavy sigh. "When is it?"

I looked back down at the card. "Um, April second."

"That's next week. You better call and tell her you're coming."

A wide grin appeared on my face as I ran up and hugged him. "Thank you dad,"

"This completely undermines my parenting." he replied hugging back after a few seconds of awkwardness. Charlie wasn't the type of guy that showed affection very well. "Now go call her."

I gave him another quick smile then ran to the phone, tripping only once over my feet, and dialed the number as quickly as I could. Renee picked up on the first ring. "Hi mom, it's Bella. I got your invitation, and I'm coming." I half shrieked, half squealed.

"That's great," came Renee's voice. "Oh Bella, you don't know how happy I am that Phil and I are finally getting married. I can't believe it after all these years it's finally happening again. I'm getting remarried!"

"That's great mom, but isn't it a little late to send out invitations? A week isn't' much of a notice for something like this."

"Well actually the thing is Bella, you got your invitation kind of late." Oh was all I could say.

"Now don't worry about a hotel or anything," continued Renee. "You can stay here with us at the house."

"Thanks mom," I replied, but something about staying at my moms house the night of her wedding felt wrong. Of course there was _no way_ I could say that and still make it sound polite. "Listen I'd love to talk, but I have to go make dinner. So I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Wait," shrieked Renee. "Bella you have to bring your boyfriend. In fact, bring his whole family. The more the merrier. Bye Bells." She hung up the phone before I could reply. I just stood there my mouth hanging open again. This was a problem I hadn't for seen. Suddenly the whole no hotel thing made since. I placed the receiver back on the phone and went into kitchen to start dinner.

"How'd it go," asked Charlie as the two of use ate our chicken sandwiches and slurped our soup.

"Good," I replied. "But," I stumbled. I hadn't decided whether I wanted to tell Charlie that Renee wanted me to bring Edward and his family. He was still touchy on the whole Edward subject. And surely assumptions would be made. I decided the truth was best way to go. "She wants me to bring Edward and the rest of the Cullens."

Charlie nearly chocked on a piece of his sandwich. "In a hotel?"

I rolled my eyes. He was obviously thinking alone the same lines as Renee. "Dad the rest of the Cullens will be there too." I replied. "Plus I'm staying at Renee's."

"Oh," he said calming down. "Well, then I guess that's fine as long as they get a hotel."

After I cleaned up the kitchen and said my good night to Charlie I headed up stairs for a shower, some quick teeth brushing, and to wait for Edward to return from hunting with his family.

Finally about after ten minutes of waiting I felt those cool hard arms slip around my waist and heard that soft musical voice of my dreams in my ear. "Bella." I felt those cold lips kiss my ear. "Yes."

"What," I asked Edward.

"We'll go to the wedding," he said before turning my head to kiss my lips. My heart went haywire. I put my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss. Crushing myself against his cold hard chest as we fell backwards onto my bed. I was clearly starting to cross Edward's boundaries and he hadn't pushed me away yet. I smiled to myself and threw myself even harder into the kiss tangling my hands in his perfect bronze hair. Edward gently pushed me away. We both lay there gasping for breath.

"Sorry," he said "To far."

"No," I shook my head. "Perfect."

Edward sighed. "What am I going to do with you Bella?" He scooped me back up into his arms and kissed me again. We broke apart in what seemed like no time.

"We'll go to the wedding," he said again.

"How did you?" I started. Edward just smiled that half crooked smile I loved so much. "Alice," I groaned.

"Yes," he replied kissing my forehead. He sure was enjoying kissing me tonight. "Want to borrow my cell or would you rather go down stairs?"

"Neither," I replied starring in to the topaz colored eyes of his. For a few seconds I forgot how to breathe. No matter how many times I looked into Edward's eyes I never could get over how beautiful they were.

He handed me his cell phone. His eyes danced wickedly. I groaned again and dialed Renee's number.

She picked up on the third ring. "Hi mom. It's Bella again." I sat up to talk better. "Um listen remember earlier when you told me to see if Edward and the rest of his family would come to the wedding? Well I just talked to them and they're all in."

"Great," she shrieked happily. "I finally get to meet you're boyfriend outside a hospital room!"

I gave a little laugh. I really didn't want to do this right now with Edward sitting right beside me, but luckily for me Renee had other plans. "Listen Bella," she said. "I'd love to stay and chat but Phil has reservations for eight thirty."

"Ok bye Mom."

"Bye Bells."

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" Came Edward's musical voice as he pulled me onto his lap and smothered me in kisses, making my head spin. I loved it when Edward got back from hunting. He always seemed more willing to bend the boundaries on kisses.

"Alice is going to have so much fun shopping with you tomorrow," he commented.

My eyes widened in horror. "Sh sh shopping," I stuttered. "Edward you wouldn't. You know how much I hate shopping. Can't you do something?"

"Sorry Bella," he replied smiling at my distress. "It's Alice."

"And it's you," I added hopefully. Edward just shook his head. "Charlie, I'm grounded into the summer. There's no way he'll let me go."

"Oh I think he'll make an exception."

"I hate you," I mumbled closing my eyes.

"Love you too," he replied before one last kiss.

**A/N:** Ok how was that chapter? I thought it came out rather well, which is actually very strange. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. But it might take a while seeing as I'm currently totally obsessed with another story I'm writing Love and War. But the more reviews I get the faster I'll post. So click the little review button.


	2. Shopping

**Disclaimer:** If you think I wrote Twilight the mental ward is right down the rode.

**A/N:** The people have spoken, and they want more Twilight. Sorry to my wonderfull obsession, you're getting put on hold. Thank yous for the wonderful reviews go to Asquared91, geometrysoroxmysox, midnightmoons, 1stepbehind29, BlueSea14 (no their's nothing wrong with my – or , keys; I just never know when to use them) edwardroxs17, and chloe. Thanks guys.

It was official my life was over end. There was no way out of it, I was dieing, a cold hard death, worse than any other torture device conceived.

My pulse quickened as we passed the sign. There was no escape; I was dead. How could he let this happen? What type of boyfriend let this happen to their girl friend, their love of their life?

"Come on," whispered Edward, chuckling in my ear. "How long are you going to keep this up for?"

I glared back at him. I would give him the silent treatment for as long as I could possible keep it up…. which wasn't much longer. It was impossible for me to stay mad at Edward for very long. Who could? It was the way he looked at you with those perfect topaz eyes of his, that perfect face, that perfect expression. It was just so irresistible.

"Bella come on." He kissed my ear softly.

"How…. how… how could you?" I sobbed, traitor tears welling in my eyes. "How could you Edward? You know I hate shopping!"

"You make it sound like I'm condemning you." The tears ran down my face.

"Edward," exclaimed Alice as she found a parking space. "Do something."

"Listen Bella," Edward grasped my face in his hands, "I love you with all my heart, but you need something to wear to the wedding."

"She could go in nothing," hinted Alice.

He ignored her. "Now please, just this once, try to have some fun. For your mother." He kissed me then. All my fears just seemed to fall away as our lips meet for those brief few seconds. "I promise you'll be fine."

Those were the last words he said to me before I was thrown into a blur of low cut designer dresses. Alice was in full shop mode before we even stepped into the store. She threw every dress at me she could find in my size, demanding to see every single one of them on me.

It was worse than I ever could imagine from tight and short, to puffy and frill, and finally to Alice muttering something about dresses made of chocolate, I was forced to try them all on. It wasn't until she shrieked with glee, going over to a rack and pulling out a long strapless dark blue dress, that we finally paid, with out my even trying it on.

"Don't worry," she said giving me a wink. "I saw it."

After that it was off to the jewelry, then the make up, and finally the shoes, my own personal death trap. I was a walking disaster in two-inch silver heels. But she wouldn't listen to my pleas.

"You'll look great," she insisted paying.

"How's it going," asked Edward slipping his arms around my waist, Jasper by his side.

"Great," Alice insisted. "We're almost done, just one more thing."

He gave her one of those crooked smiles that I made my heart race. "Mmmh, I'd like to see that."

"What," I asked very confused. "Alice we have everything lets go home."

"No." It was late, I was tired, and we had nothing left to get. Why couldn't I go home? "We still need to get you some lingerie for you," she shrieked in delight.

My face went redder than red. I gave her a hard stare. "No."

"Edward what's you're favorite color, green right?" He his smile widened. "Ok let's go Bella." She started to drag me off toward the underwear.

"No, no, no, no, no" I screamed. "Edward this isn't funny. I'm not doing this. You can't make me." But for all my protests, all my complaints, all my reasoning, I still ended up in the mist of bra's and skimpy looking undergarments that I didn't know the names of.

"Here Bella try this on." She handed me something green.

"No," I insisted shoving it back. "I'm not doing this Alice. This stuff," I motioned around me, "is _defiantly_ not for me. I'm not _married_." I hoped she caught that last infuses.

"So, what's that got to do with anything? Honestly Bella you're so old fashioned."

"What if Charlie finds it," I persisted. "How will I explain," I pointed to the green thing still in her hands, "that."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," she continued rolling her eyes at me.

"Alice listen to me I'm eighteen years, old I don't want this stuff. I don't even know what I'd use this stuff for." Don't answer that. Don't answer that I mentally chanted, too late.

"Well you see Bella, you never know what you and Edward might want to do one of these nights. Besides it might be nice. You could end up,"

"Alice," Edward said cutting her off. I hadn't noticed him standing behind me before. "That's enough. You've had your fun. It's time to take Bella home. She obviously doesn't' want any of this."

"Edward, why do you guys have to be such party poopers? How can you not want to see her in this."

He sighed, but never answered.

**A/N: **Oh, I hate this chapter. I wanted to get it typed, but I hate it. It was supposed to be funny, but instead it came out dorky and boring. If anyone saw food network a little while ago, you'd get the chocolate dress thing. Well anyways review review and if you want another chapter I'll post it.


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